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1. Cultural
2. Health
3. Relationship
4. Financial/Career
5. Existential
Now, in mid life Ive seen many persons my age succumb to cancer and coronary heart attacks. A dear friends mother died recently. He says that now hes on his own, he has a clear sense of his own mortality and its woken him up to the fact that life is too short to be lived on cruise control.
1. Cultural
Midlife transition is a universal phenomenon whereas midlife crisis is more a Western phenomenon, with our culture favouring youth over age and knowledge.
The funny thing about careers is that for plenty of persons they didnt actually settle on it it chose them. Think about your own experience. Did somebody either tell you that you would be good at that particular job or did you get into it because you simply had to get a job to earn a number of money?
3. Relationships
The result of crises in relationships may take the form of extra-marital affairs and indirectly divorce. Relationships that were founded on physical looks, sex, financial protection, prestige and expediency can flounder into crisis around the midlife period.
Many midlifers also have teenage children who are going through their rebellious, "I know it all" stage. When you add all these elements together and couple them with the angst midlife brings, you've a potent, volatile mix.
All of this primarily happened whilst we were a young adult, at a time when we didnt know ourselves really effectively. It primarily isnt till we hit our thirties or forties that we hit the awake wall and ask, "Why am I doing this?" "How did I get here?"
In midlife many of our health complications are self-imposed. Fast foods, lack of quality rest and non-stop activity takes its toll on our physical and emotional effectively being. Today were taking on more and more trying to cram every moment with more activities causing our threshold for stress to bring up. The bodily alarm keeps going off but we retain hitting the snooze button on the method to retain going and going. Eventually the body breaks down through neglect.
By the time we hit midlife, our parents are likely to be experiencing a number of of the issues that age brings; physical and highbrow deterioration, or even dying. One statistic I read said mid-lifers nowadays are twice as likely to be emotionally, physically and occasionally financially supporting an turning into old parent.
5. Existential
This crisis is moderately a crisis of meaning or a spiritual crisis. Its the drive to find out and understand the deeper meaning of life. Its an inside crisis, whereas the other four happen externally to us. This is why I have confidence midlife has a positive intention for us. An existential crisis causes us to ask the age-old existential questions of life. Who am I? Why am I here? What is my purpose?
Midlife is not a weak part of our evolution; its an empowering step. So lets step up!
I did a number of research on the word, crisis which in my little Bloomsbury dictionary is defined as; a turning point; a critical moment; an emergency. After a work more research I found the word crisis comes from the Greek word krinein, which literally means, to decide. Before I did that little piece of research the word crisis for me had a adverse tone. Now I think it has a positive tone.
Somebody facing a life threatening illness can start to hunt the deeper meaning of it all. Events like these can slam us back into what we value most. You may have personally experienced the sort of family courting curative that takes place when somebody we love is close to death.
2. Health
Theres nothing more shocking than coming face to face with your own mortality, either through a life threatening illness or the death of a loved one.
Reminding ourselves of what weve been through and what weve learnt can furnish us with efficient insights as we move forward. With this clarity were able to settle on the direction wed like to go in and clearly see the following mountain wed like to climb. And so we set off into the unknown a new terrain for the following life adventure.
Many persons in their forties and fifties in the West dont wait for the benefits of eldership like they do in the East. Tribal persons have always acknowledged the strength of anyone moving to wholeness and knowledge, as they get older.
Nothing has any meaning other than the meaning we give it
Its a rare individual certainly wholl not face at least one of these crises in their middle years. That part we might not be able to regulate over, but we do have a choice as to what meaning we give them. We can give them the meaning of great personal and family disasters, but this will only serve to bring up our pain and deepen the suffering.
There are not any meaningless events
Its my belief that there are not any meaningless events in life. Every crisis, no matter how devastating, is also an opportunity for profound and deep personal growth.
During middle years we can find ourselves experiencing five different wake up calls. Each one has the potential to furnish its own crisis.
Whenever I talk about midlife, the word crisis is inexplicitly linked, so Id like to share with you a number of thinking about the five crisis of middle age and how each crisis can furnish you with an exquisite opportunity for personal transformation into greater knowledge and wholeness.
Another crisis for mid-lifers nowadays is whether to have children or not. As a womans biological clock ticks away, couples can feel under immense pressure to make a life exchanging decision and then have to come to terms with their decision. And what of the added burden of dealing with the social stigma thats attached to being childless? Then there are those that have been trying to have children for years only to find out that they cant. This can be devastating to both parties and can make or break the courting.
In one sense an existential crisis is linked to the four other crisis. When an event comes along that disrupts our essential assumptions about life, the result is a search for the deeper meaning of it all. For example, if somebody loses his or her job and is staring financial ruin in the face, it can lead to a search for greater meaning.
For example, if anyone is unhappy at work they may stick for years at it to avoid a financial crisis but the effect on their total psyche can lead to a marriage break up, a health breakdown and religious crisis. If somebody comes down with a life threatening illness they may lose their job, their marriage, their health and indirectly their will to live.
For anyone whos invested so much into his or her job, losing it is ultimate failure. The result of that perception sends a number of spiralling in to a deep dark black gap called depression. Some dont lose their job but are stuck in jobs they hate; it pays the bills but leaves them feeling empty.
The term midlife crisis now means a time in our life when important decisions need to be made.
It was Stephen Covey who said, "In the absence of a wakeup call, many of us never moderately confront the critical issues of life."
Each one of these five crises are challenges, with important lessons to be learned. Plenty of testimonies abound of persons who have chosen an empowering intending to lifes difficulties and, as a result, turned their lives around.
4. Financial/Career
Financial crises are commonplace in midlife. Acquisitions, mergers, downsizing, advancements in technology all take their toll on the mid-lifer. Suddenly finding yourself out of a job can be shocking.
Maybe its time we changed our language from, "Im having a midlife crisis" to "Im experiencing a:
Midlife evolution
Midlife empowerment stage
Midlife growth stage
Midlife kick
Midlife challenge
Midlife transition
Midlife wake up call
Which one best resonates with you?
If somebody loses their job in their twenties or thirties its annoying, but when somebody loses their job in their late forties or fifties its traumatic. To somebody whose whole identity is entwined with the status and title their job brings, losing a job can be a devastating blow to his or her sense of self worth. And its not simply their identity they lose, its their financial insurance coverage, community, and livelihood. One of my clients summed up his job loss when he said, "Its not simply a job, its my whole life!"
As Ive entered the 2d half of life Ive become increasingly aware of death. As a young adult I lived with the illusion of immortality and felt bullet facts. I went through those early years as if I was indestructible.
Here in the West theres a stigma attached to reaching the half method mark, "Im over the hill" is an oft-quoted comment.
I dont have confidence were over the hill, but standing on true of the hill. From this high vantage point were able to look back and see the journey weve taken to get here. We can review our lives and trace our steps. We can see, understand and appreciate how our lifes events, and the choices weve made along the method, have made us who we are nowadays.
Forgiveness, love and compassion are what matter most in times like these. Many Ive interviewed sum up their current existence by saying theyve come to a point in their life where they feel like theyre in the wrong place with the wrong persons doing the wrong thing. This wake up call starts a means of deep inner reflection. They look around and wonder what theyre doing and what prompted the choices they made. Usually they find that their current unhappiness had its roots firmly planted in their youth.
Generally, I refer to midlife as the variety from 35 to 60 years, besides the fact that these life-exchanging crises can happen earlier or after these ages. And whilst Ill explain these crises individually for ease of understanding, its worth remembering that they rarely work in isolation. Theres more of an interdependent courting between them than you might to start with realise.
